Kate Solis Silva
Perfectionism in Important Times
These past few weeks have been filled with listening and learning, and with making decisions about where to use my voice and take intentional action. Because for me, I’m invested in being a better ally in my professional and personal life.
And yet, if I’m honest, there have been many times as of late when I got stuck in analysis paralysis: afraid to do it wrong, offend, and appear tone-deaf. I’ve struggled to find my footing amidst it all.
I wanted to ensure I was saying and doing all the right things, always trying to have the perfect response. But if it’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that perfectionism keeps us stuck.
As a coach, I’m honored to serve by helping people overcome what’s holding them back from taking the action that matters most to them. Authenticity, integrity, and love are three fundamental principles that define my coaching practice. But I’m also human, and in this time, I’ve needed to self-coach and be coached by others. I needed help in reconnecting to my values, not letting perfectionism paralyze me, and acting from my heart.
A mentor coach recently said, “You can’t think your way out of something when your heart knows the answer.” The mind is where my perfectionism sets up shop; it’s the voice that tells me that it’s not safe to act now, or really ever.
But dropping into the heart transforms perspective.
From this place, I can connect and speak my truth. Here, I learn and act with love. When I come from a heart-centered space, I know I’ll make mistakes, and I’ll continue to show up. Because when I put perfectionism in its place and align with love, silence isn’t an option.
If you, too, find yourself working through the fear and self-doubt of doing it wrong, I invite you to tap into your heart and reconnect to your values.
Then take action from there.
What feels right to you? How can you shine your light aligned with your truths? If your mind stops you in your tracks, let your values and heart be your guide because your voice matters.
I want to clarify that heart-centered and values-led action isn’t synonymous with safe. We’re still talking about growth here, about challenging yourself and not having it all figured out simultaneously. A heart-centered and values-led approach emphasizes love over fear.
I also invite you to seek out the support and accountability that are so vital when the big P rears its ugly head. Whether it be a person or a community, connecting with someone regularly exponentially raises your chances of living out your values and leading from your heart. And if you don’t feel that you have a person in your corner to move past perfectionism, you do now.
We have a choice: to give our power to fear or to use our voices for what is just and right in all spaces. To let perfectionism stop us in our tracks, or let our values lead the way.
My choice is clear: imperfect and all, I’m using my voice to stand with the Black community, as well as all marginalized communities. These times are too important not to.